You may have heard of the term spiritual bypassing being used more often as of late. Or perhaps you have just heard of this term just now and would like to know what it is exactly. What is spiritual bypassing? Could you have done it at some point in your life? And does it cause any harm to you or the people around you? Let’s find out.
A spiritual bypass is when we use spiritual language or practice to avoid psychological issues. It is like jumping too quickly without allowing ourselves to even have a moment of acknowledgment about the authentic truth. or the tendency to use spiritual ideas or practices to avoid any unresolved emotional issues. The term was first used during the early 1980s by a transpersonal psychotherapist named John Welwoon in his book Toward a Psychology of Awakening.
Spiritual Bypassing can be a way to protect yourself from harm or promote harmony between people, but it doesn’t resolve the issue. Instead, it merely masks over the problem leaving it getting worse and without any true resolution.
Signs of spiritual bypassing
Spiritual bypassing is a way to hide behind spirituality or spiritual practices. It prevents people from acknowledging what they are feeling and distances themselves away from others. Here are some of the common signs you are doing it.
- Feelings of detachment
- Protecting your negative feelings onto others
- Pretending that things are fine when it isn’t
- Thinking that you must rise above emotions
- Using denial and repression as defense mechanisms
- Being too optimistic or focusing only on positive feelings.
Spiritual bypassing is a way to hide our problems in a way to make us feel better in the short term, but it does not solve anything and just leaves us problems to linger on.
Moreover, if you say these things you may be engaging in spiritual bypassing:
- “Everything happens for a reason.”
- “You create your happiness.”
- “It was for the best.”
- “It was a blessing in disguise.”
- “Good vibes only!
What causes it
Spiritual bypassing acts as a form of defense mechanism to protect us from the things that seem too painful to deal with, but this type of defense mechanism comes with a cost. Ignoring or avoiding the problem can make it more difficult to solve later on.
While avoidance is the primary motivator, other factors cause it such as:
Wellness culture in which it perpetuates the idea of toxic positivity. It teaches people that they cannot be healthy or well unless they rise above the negativity. The problem with this is that negative emotions are often a sign that something needs to change. Ignoring these signs can make matters worse.
An individualistic culture promotes the idea that they alone are responsible for their destiny. It gives people the idea that they must aim for self-actualization to achieve true happiness which also leads to the tendency to avoid difficult or painful emotions.
How to stop this habit
Spiritual bypassing can be seen as a defense or coping mechanism, but it can lead to hampered growth, emotional development, and can even get in the way of realizing one’s true spirituality.
First, you need to acknowledge that uncomfortable feelings are a sign that there is something wrong and something needs to be done. These emotions need to be recognized rather than avoided.
Then avoid labeling your emotions as good or bad. Instead, accept that emotions are temporary and it doesn’t make you a bad person for having them.
Finally, use the negative thoughts and feelings you have to motivate you into positive action.
